What is the secret to achieving a happy and lasting life as a couple? We have all asked ourselves this question at some time in our lives, either because we have not established a long relationship or because it did not end in good port. Finally, we have an answer.
Relationships are essential to people's lives. No matter how old you are, it is your choice if you want to stay with your loved ones or not. Having a happy and lasting relationship is just like escaping from all the troubles and worries of everyday life.
To have a lasting and happy relationship is all about managing yourself and dealing with different situations in life.
Why do people like long-term relationships?
Sometimes we all get caught up in a quick fix of what is 'love' and forget that there is a lot more to a long-lasting relationship. So, why do people like long-term relationships? There are a lot of different reasons that people enter into long-term relationships.
Some people like the idea of not being able to be with their partner as frequently, and they like the idea of knowing that their partner will always be there for them, even after they have become elderly or unable to stay in the relationship physically.
Other people enter into long-term relationships because they have always been in relationships and want the security of that, or they may have children and want those people to be part of that family, too.
Another reason why people enter into long-term relationships is the idea of companionship. People who enter into these types of relationships know that they will be able to find other people who are interested in the same things as them, who want to be with them, and who want to be with them right through their lives.
The idea of companionship is attractive to some people, even if they don't think they can actually maintain that relationship. For example, if one partner dies, the other can quickly move on to someone else.
The secrets to having a happy and lasting relationship
We have summarized all the advice in 21 points, so, without further ado, let's see what they are!
1. Correct reasons
After ending their marriages, these people explained in a vast majority of cases. They say they had to "because of being with a person for the wrong reasons."
But some of them are looking for that special person to leave their current situation behind.
The main theme here is that these people had weaknesses in their character, making them do things they otherwise wouldn't have done.
2. Realistic expectations
The first stage of love is ideal, in which real crazy things are done, and we feel in a true cloud of happiness. But once that time passes, we must shape our lives around a more sincere and less idyllic relationship, with bad days.
So it is essential to know how to overcome that gap between dreams and reality.
3. Respect each other
Respect is an essential part of any successful relationship. Therefore, always treat your partner with respect and stop taking them for granted.
Always be aware of your partner's feelings before you speak or do anything that will affect them. And be sure always to tell them how much they mean to you and how they have enriched your life.
When you treat your partner with respect, you can expect to get the same in return. So, show your spouse or partner how high you really hold them and how concerned you are with their needs and happiness.
4. Work hard on your relationship
Creating a happy relationship requires doing everything you can to make it run perfectly. Nothing great happens in life without people putting in the necessary effort. If happiness came so quickly, we believe that we would all relax in our great relationships today. But we guess you know better!
As problems arise in the relationship, you may need to use some courage to resolve them at times. Dealing with misunderstandings with your spouse can sometimes be challenging. There are days when you might need to be restrained and empathetic towards your spouse to keep the peace.
You can also expect a day when you just don't feel up to it. However, you are doing whatever needs to be done anyway because you love your partner.
So, you and your partner must be prepared for the challenges and sacrifices that love so often demands from those who genuinely seek its pleasures. As a result, there is - maybe not - the need to take the time to study and improve your relationship skills.
While it may seem like hard work, the point is that you are gradually building a solid foundation for a happy relationship.
5. Speak openly if you want a happy and lasting relationship
Having a long-lasting and happy relationship is next to impossible without couples engaging in healthy, regular communication. Happy couples are also not hesitant or fear being vulnerable with their partner through engaging in honest communication.
Time spent each week so that you and your spouse can sit down and talk honestly about what is going on in your relationship. Now is not the time to argue or complain but rather the time for open and honest deliberation.
Maintaining the lines of communication always open is very important to the health of your relationship. This way, you will always be on top of the good things and the issues that are happening in the relationship. Also, with such knowledge, nothing will be too dramatic for your relationship.
To develop a happy relationship, you need to avoid running away from conflicts when they arise. However, you also need to understand the benefits of having these difficult conversations.
6. Listen more to your better half… and vice versa!
What if you only had one thing you could improve on to ensure a healthier relationship with your partner? Talk less and listen more.
Blame, name-calling, criticism, and blackmail never end well and give you a challenging atmosphere to endure.
When the discussion turns to combat, don't interrupt. Wait before offering a solution or defending yourself too quickly.
When it comes to emotions, they need to be heard. Nod, rephrase what your partner says to you to understand that you are listening to him, and react briefly to his words to show him that you respect the feelings he expresses in words.
Sometimes, we need to feel closer to someone to listen to what they have to say to us.
One last piece of advice in closing: did you used to wear sexy clothes to bed to please him? Now you just put on an old T-shirt with a hole in it?
Do not hesitate to spice up your look from time to time! Feeling good about yourself will brighten your eyes and sparkle that of your partner. You will exchange more intimate moments. You know the rest!
7. Both happy, happy relationship
We should not think that our partner "should make us happy." Being happy comes on an individual level.
So the job of the other is not to improve us, nor is it ours to change the other. It is because they will stop being the person we fell in love with.
Instead, both should be happy with their ideas, spaces, opinions, and hobbies without friction.
8. Have fun and laugh more
You can't talk about a happy relationship without adding some fun and laughing sessions to the mix. Add laughter to various situations in your life because true happiness is doing the things that make you happy.
Interestingly, experts claim that laughter helps the body to relax while strengthening the immune system.
So do silly things that can make you and your spouse laugh and be silly with each other.
For example, watch a funny movie together or tell jokes - don't worry, even if they are dry, that's part of the fun itself.
In fact, experts say that even when forced, smiling and laughing makes you feel better. So at worst, if nothing else works, try to smile and laugh even if it's for no reason.
9. Give both of you and your partner some space
Spending the rest of your life with someone can be tough. That's why it is essential to respect the personal spaces of each one, both inside and outside the home.
The objective is that we can be as we are. However, if we engulf everything, the person will change and general unhappiness.
Spending time apart to engage in distinct interests and activities can help you find a rejuvenated relationship. Time spent apart also helps you miss your partner, thus reminding you of how important they are to you.
The reality is, you don't have to be so attached to your partner to be truly happy. Your happiness and individual freedom are what the relationship needs to thrive and stay happy.
10. Accept the changes
The saying "Life Takes Many Turns" is a reality, which affects us and changes us in many ways.
Life as a couple requires accepting those changes and the different ways of interpreting and adapting to them that a person has.
11. Fight for the relationship
You have to fight to move the relationship forward. All couples have bad moments, arguments, and anger. But those who get ahead are the ones who, when they arise, do not just insult themselves and recall other failures.
Yes, those who change this crisis situation can do so by taking a "break" and then speaking and making it clear that they want to move on.
12. Focus on the positives
We have all entered into our relationships the flawed humans that we are by nature. And whether you agree on it or not, there will always be problems and hiccups in a relationship, including yours. To see it for yourself, whether it is true, you'll see them fairly easily sooner or later without even trying.
To sustain a happy relationship, you can focus more on your relationship's positive aspects. This will help you avoid complaining or dwelling on the negatives too much.
The idea is to re-focus your thinking whenever there is a disruptive negative situation in the relationship.
For example, if they forgot to do a task like laundry, thank them for the delicious dinner they just had. On the other hand, maybe they did something irritating.
Then, just replace it with other positive thoughts of things they've done before.
So when the going gets tough, bring your mind back to the good times you shared together as a couple. Learn to ignore mistakes and attitudes you might not like about your spouse or your relationship.
Emphasizing the positive will only lead to more positives.
13. Know how to forgive
When it comes to relationships, we all know that communication is key. But what many people don’t realize is that learning how to forgive is also essential for a happy and lasting relationship.
Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it’s important to remember that we all make mistakes. If you can learn to forgive your partner when they make a mistake, it will go a long way in strengthening your relationship.
Of course, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting about what happened. It’s important to be able to talk about what happened and why it hurt you. But once you’ve been able to talk about it, try to let it go and move on.
If you can learn to forgive, it will be one of the best secrets to having a happy and lasting relationship.
14. The little things
Many of the broken marriages allude to "the straw that broke the camel's back."
That is why it is important to give relevance to the little things and details of the day-to-day, which can worsen our relationship completely.
But also improve it: say "I love you," shake hands, help, share...
15. Have realistic expectations
Realize that the expectations you had when you first fell in love might not survive the honeymoon. Instead, together, you can set more realistic goals that will help develop and maintain a more romantic, deeper, and more prosperous relationship.
Always remember those long-term relationships come and go, like everything in life. So don't get carried away thinking yours will be all the sun and rainbows. In fact, before the rainbow arrives, it always rains first.
Plus, it's important not to expect too much from your spouse. Do not place them on a high pedestal where they could easily fall.
Instead, take them for who they are and accept their abilities and weaknesses. We have flaws in one way or another, period!
A 2002 happiness study found that the happiest people rarely experience euphoria or ecstasy. Instead, they experience medium to moderately strong pleasant emotions most of the time.
Learn to express gratitude for the healthy and happy relationship you have with your spouse. Get in the habit of saying thank you for all the little contributing things your partner does in the relationship.
When the little things that are happening around you might offend you, always think about the bigger picture of your happy relationship. Small things don't have to be sweating.
Look for the good things in your relationship and express your gratitude to them. Always let your spouse know that you are grateful for all their love and efforts in making your relationship great.
17. Have creative rules
It is not about dividing everything 50%, but about knowing that we are good and bad at things, that there are things that we like and that we do not, and talking about it with the couple to agree.
Communication is once again a pillar to knowing how to articulate our lives so that we can be happy.
18. Know how to ride the waves
Couples who can weather the stormy times together and come out stronger on the other side are the ones who have built a strong foundation for their relationship.
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. But over time, reality sets in, and things can get tough. That’s when it’s important to remember why you fell in love in the first place.
If you can ride out the rough times together, your relationship will be all the stronger for it.
19. Accept your differences
Just because you have been in a relationship for years doesn't mean you're the same people. It may be true that you have developed a very strong closeness and that you now share many of the same points of view. Yet you know how different you reason sometimes.
So it's essential to keep in mind that you are still two separate individuals even though you both make a great team. Therefore, you must honor and make the most of the differences between the two of you.
Try to focus on the positive reasons you came together in the first place. Things like emotional and physical attraction, a general outlook on life, and the future like-minded aspirations that have brought you together should guide you.
Ultimately, the two of you are heading in the same direction, having a happy relationship that will stand the test of time.
20. Touch your lover to make your romantic relationship last
The sense of touch releases endorphins both in the person who touches and in the person who is touched. This hormone promotes well-being.
So please get in the habit of taking the other's hand while walking, touching his cheek while kissing him in the morning.
Revive the small gestures of touch that you had when you started, such as a kiss on the ear, or a hand in the hair, for example.
Adding a touch to your relationship will allow you to form a stronghold of love that will make you more united and stronger in times of adversity.
It is also proven that united couples are more resistant to the urges of infidelity. Therefore, follow these expert recommendations to prevent infidelity.
To create this kind of bond, start by supporting your partner as often as possible. You are a team. Keep its secrets intact as much as possible, even if your friends in the office are telling theirs.
Except in an emergency, don't let anything interrupt your moments of intimacy with your spouse. People will leave a message or come back later.
Commit together to spend at least 30 minutes a day talking about your days, your goals, and your dreams. Build a real friendship with each other.
Studies have shown that a couple made up of friends also promotes a more solid and "sexier" union. Don't forget to set aside time for intimate moments, even if it means putting it on your agenda!
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