How to Help Your Shy Child to Gain More Confidence

A shy child can be frustrating and difficult to handle, so how to overcome your social anxiety?
Last Updated
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March 19, 2022
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Shyness is a very serious problem that affects children of all ages. But, unfortunately, it cannot be easy to learn how to deal with it in our own lives.

Fortunately, you can find a great deal of information on how to do this if you know where to look.

Shy children are often very sensitive, and when they are afraid, they can act that way. They may not fully express what they feel because of their shyness.

However, instead of focusing on the communication difficulties that can arise due to this coming out, you will be concentrating your efforts on strategies that will make communication with others easier for your child.

Your child needs to be around others if they want to build healthy self-esteem. If you punish your shy kid for being different, then they will only be discouraged to try harder in school to stand out.

Although many people think of being shy as something negative, it is actually very positive. In fact, being this type of person is advantageous to learn more about the world.

In addition, the more outgoing you can be, the more people will want to be with you and listen to you talk. Once your child can talk to anyone, they will feel that everyone is an expert.

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Why kids being shy can be frustrating and difficult to handle?

Most of us tend to ask ourselves the question, "Why are kids shy" quite often. So, all of us want to know why kids being shy seems to persist.

We do have a theory that it stems from insecurity in the form of fear. So, naturally, shy children become shy because they are insecure about something.

For example:

They may be very scared of their parents laughing at them or teasing them. Also, if they see something they deem a threat to them, such as a bigger kid or a person they perceive to be a bad influence on them, they will be shyer.

This is why kids are shy, and we believe it is very important for parents to understand this and know how to deal with it or at least know what it looks like.

If you have ever talked to a shy kid, then you know that they do not come across as happy and positive most of the time.

We also noticed that shy kids seem to be a little self-conscious and uncomfortable most of the time, and they become more scared as they get older.

So we hope this article helps somehow, and we wish you all the best with your issues and concerns about kids being shy!

So, let's take a look at some ways to help your shy child gain more confidence.

Understand them

understand them to help your shy child to gain more confident
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What are the best ways to help a shy kid become more confident? First, it would help if you tried to understand how he thinks and why he is shy.

Once you understand how he thinks, you can begin to figure out his internal needs. That will give you an idea of how to help your child be more confident.

Many different things might be causing him to be shy, like low self-esteem or not being very good at socializing.

Helping your child to understand how to help him develop his social skills can take time and patience. The more you get to know him, the easier it will be to interact with other people in social situations.

But, be patient with him as well. He needs to learn how to talk to strangers, make friends, and make fun with others before being comfortable doing those things with people he knows.

Would you mind not forcing them

don't force them to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Whenever you are with him, never get annoyed with him because this can easily make him lose his focus and feel uncomfortable. Plus, he may become aggressive by getting annoyed with him, which is definitely not a good sign.

So, to help your shy child to gain more confidence is by giving him time to think about what he has done wrong and what he plans to do to correct it.

The most important thing is never to reject them and never show any judgment on their actions. You are allowing them to learn how to deal with new situations and gain confidence while having fun at the same time.

This will help them develop,

  • A healthy sense of self.
  • The acceptance of others.
  • Be able to communicate better with others.

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Praising them when they do something right

praising them when they do something right to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Although praising your kids for helping your shy kid gain, more confidence may not seem to be the wisest thing to do. But, in reality, it can be one of the most effective ways to help your shy kid become more confident.

When we are talking about shy kids who don't speak much, and even those that speak a little, they don't usually come across as being very happy most of the time.

They will most likely seem scared and nervous all the time, and they will usually get into trouble more than not. But by praising them every once in a while, your shy kid will surely be able to overcome these problems.

If you praise him for every mistake he makes, it would be more effective because he would start to believe in himself, increasing his self-confidence.

By praising him, he will begin to feel good and have higher self-esteem, which is the key to help your shy kid to become more confident.

It is not the actual praise that they should be really proud of. It is the fact that they were able to accomplish something that others could not.

By telling them that they were a great kid, they will not be so nervous around other people anymore.

Take part in as many activities as possible

take part in as many activities as possible to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Shy kids are often focused on their self-talk, so the best way to help them gain a fuller sense of who they are is to spend some time with other people.

For example,

  • Go shopping with friends

> Can acknowledge that he has become more comfortable around people.

  • Joining a new group of peers

> Can help boost their confidence.

  • Participating in conversation

> Can help your child become more comfortable talking about himself and others.

Would you mind encouraging them

encourage them to help your shy child to gain more confident
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When a child is shy, he often withdraws from group activities and creates an even more difficult situation for himself.

For example, you may have noticed that shy kids tend to walk away when they have to speak to more than one person. This behavior can be a result of their nervousness or fear.

Being confident is good, but being arrogant isn't good at all. To help your shy child, encourage him to try new things and challenge him to overcome his insecurities.

Your shy kid needs to realize that nobody is infallible, and if he cannot handle a certain situation himself, he should ask for help.

Also, to help your shy child to gain more confidence interacting with others, you need to encourage your child to participate in as many social activities as possible.

For example, if your child seems uncomfortable whenever you talk to them, the conversation will naturally go in the opposite direction.

Rather than feeling discouraged, encourage your child to participate in the conversation.

Your child needs to know that you acknowledge them as an individual with unique qualities, and then you will be able to start teaching your child how to develop those strengths.

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Educate them on basic social skills

educate them on basic social skills to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Shy kids tend to have a hard time making friends and often look to their parents for validation. Therefore, it would be best if you can teach them basic social skills to help your shy child become more confident around new people.

Basic social skills include:

  • Eye contact
  • Sharing words
  • Joining conversations

Your child can learn these skills through storytelling and imitation.

This will help them develop a social circle and confidence early on in life. Children who are not given a chance to grow their own social circle and become confident with who they are often become weak when facing new situations. Introduce your shy kid to the people she knows from school or your family at a very early age.

Be a role model to them

be a role model to them to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Being a good role model can be very important if you want your kids to be outgoing and confident. A good role model will help your child in many areas, from being shy to being confident.

Kids look up to successful people, and they learn many things from them. As a result, kids are more likely to do the same thing than doing what they think others expect of them.

If your shy kid is not doing anything good with his life or is constantly being teased by other kids, then it's time for you to be a role model to your shy kid.

You can start by helping your child overcome his shyness by understanding the concept of taking bold steps.

For example, your child will be much more confident if he can confront his problem by making a point of doing something different, like joining a sports team instead of sitting at home. This will also help him to get over being shy.

Being a good role model to your kids is important if you want them to become proactive and confident later in life. Children often mimic what their parents do.

That's why as a parent, you need to be a good role model to them. Be a good example by talking to a lot of people, even if only to make friends. It will be a great help for your shy kid to follow your example.

Then you can talk to your shy kid and see what they think of making new friends at school.

Help your shy kid learn how to make a friend

help your shy kid learn how to make a friend to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Talking to many people can help your shy kid gain more confidence, and they might talk about it with you too. It's easier said than done, though.

While talking to people, your shy kid might feel embarrassed or even ashamed, but you can still do something to help your shy kid.

Making friends at school is harder for shy kids than it is for other kids. It is because they might not feel comfortable talking to a lot of people.

But if you take some time and find out what keeps them alone at school, you can give them advice on making friends better.

To help your shy kid,

  • Don't act too eager to talk to them.
  • They might get the wrong idea and will think you are trying to force them into making friends.
  • You don't have to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do.
  • Just listen and be interested in what they have to say.
  • Lastly, ask them to explain the topic of conversation to you.

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Educate them how to manage the feelings of social inadequacy

educate them how to manage the feelings of social inadequacy to help your shy child to gain more confident
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When dealing with feelings of social awkwardness, teaching the kids to be comfortable in their own self is a very important thing.

If they are not comfortable with themselves, how can other people around them deal with them?

Not being able to talk to someone because you're terrified of what they'll think or what they might make anyone isolated, and that's not a good feeling for anyone. Children need to know that being confident is not a bad thing.

We were made to feel good about ourselves at birth, and by nature, we always wanted to be that way.

Unfortunately, there are times when we have to learn to shut out those negative feelings to survive in the world. This is important for any child, especially for young children who don't understand why being shy sometimes feels like a lifetime of punishment.

Would you please help them develop the confidence that will lead them to make friendships and get along with others?

By developing these skills and having fun, they will start to see that being shy is sometimes the best thing that can happen to them.

So instead of worrying, help them figure out what they really want and then get ready to teach them the appropriate skills.

Teach them how to deal with feelings

teach them how to deal with feelings to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Believe it or not, feelings are what make or break relationships. If your shy kid feels strong emotions, they will take the opposite route and get extremely shy.

However, if they learn to deal with their feelings, they will become more outgoing, which can be extremely beneficial for them in the long run.

For you to help your shy child gain confidence, you must first

  • Help them realize that they are feeling what they are feeling.
  • Would you please do this by being open with them and letting them know that everything is okay?
  • Don't try to tell them that it's just a bad day, for instance.
  • Instead, acknowledge their feelings as something that they should handle themselves.

The more comfortable they feel around others, the more likely they are to be more outgoing and take action. This doesn't have to be difficult to do, and you will be amazed at how much this can benefit your child.

More importantly, your child will realize how important it is to deal with feelings and that it isn't that big of a deal. Dealing with feelings is hard, but it's essential to becoming more outgoing.

Don't label your kid as shy

don't label your kid as shy to help your shy child to gain more confident
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Kids who feel they're not good enough sometimes need some help building their self-confidence, and one of the best ways to do this is to let them know how much you believe in them.

I'm not talking about telling your shy kid that they are "weird" or a "loser."

No parent wants their child to be like that, and we want our kids to be outgoing, confident, and loving.

If your shy kid feels supported and nurtured and knows that they are loved, they will start talking and enjoying themselves.

Helping your shy kid build self-confidence will boost their self-esteem and self-worth, which will give them more confidence and happiness in life.

Don't label your shy kid as being shy to help your shy kid gain confidence in themselves. It's okay to be proud of your child!

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Prepare them for new situations

prepare them for new situations to help your shy child to gain more confident
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By preparing them, they will have a greater chance of handling the new situation. It is not good enough to say that they should try their best because it will not work if they are not ready.

They should prepare themselves and then work at their ability to do that until it becomes part of their personality.

For example, if your child is in a new situation such as a social gathering and suddenly feels nervous, instead of telling them to calm down and do their best, tell them to relax and try to find friends.

Here are some tips that you can use to help your shy kid gain more confidence,

  • Tell them that they are not alone.
  • Make him aware that they can make it through the new situation alright.
  • Let them know that they can talk to anyone comfortably.

This could be something as simple as a friend complimenting them. If they get a chance to meet some of their friends, they may feel better about the situation and will be able to perform better.

Tell them to listen carefully to the one who is talking

tell them to listen carefully to the one who is talking to help your shy kid gain more confidence
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As children grow older, they may feel more self-conscious about talking to others in public. However, there are some things that you can do to help your shyness.

First, they need to learn how to listen carefully to what people are saying when you are talking to them. When you are doing so, you will be able to determine if they are self-deprecatory or complimentary.

Once you have learned to be attentive to what other people say, you will respond in kind.

As your child starts to get better at talking to others, try to find ways to share their interest or hobby. You can do this by asking questions about things you know your child likes and finding common ground.

When you do this, your child will be much more likely to succeed at convincing someone else to join in the discussion.

This is one of the most effective tips on how to help your shy kid to gain more confidence because it teaches them that others also have interests and hobbies that are similar to theirs.


If you are a parent of a shy child, you will be pleased to know that there are several helpful tips on how to help your shy kid to become more confident. Helping your shy child gain self-confidence will give them hope and a better quality of life.

Children with low self-esteem tend to have problems with conflict, and they tend to become more stubborn than the rest. The best way for them to gain more confidence is to let them know that what they have done doesn't really define them as individuals.

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