You can avoid all of the issues concerning toxic parents, and you can grow up without having to worry about any of them. But, let's get started.
When raising a child, the most important rule is always teaching your child to respect you as their parent. This means you should never yell or scream at your child or talk badly about them. Unfortunately, kids pick up on adults' negative behavior – so when they see their parents talking like this, they might start to mimic these behaviors themselves.
Preventing toxic parenting also means respecting their thoughts and feelings. This is even more important with children from the youngest age. They need to know that their opinions don't matter and that they shouldn't be criticized, judged, scolded, or yelled at.
The worst thing you can do to a child is to treat them like they are an adult and tell them what to do.
Be clear with your child when and how you expect them to act. For example, give them a set time each day to do their homework and to study for tests. And enforce these rules and expectations.
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If you find yourself saying that you can’t give them the time they need, remind them why you gave them that time. Don’t give in to tantrums or yelling.
Another thing you need to be clear on is not to criticize your child’s behavior. Everyone makes mistakes. Children are no different. If you are asking how to avoid toxic parenting because you are constantly criticizing your child – chances are they are also having a lot of trouble with their own behavior.
You have to have faith that your child can change. While you need to be supportive, you should also set limits for what you expect of them. For example, if you want your child to get good grades in school – set reasonable expectations for how they should behave in class. If they fail to meet those expectations, be open to explaining why they did not follow through. Then let them know they can correct their behavior.
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When you are clear about avoiding toxic parenting, you need to set boundaries with your child. This is important, especially when you are not happy with the way your child is acting. Talk to your child about what is going on – and make it clear that you are not satisfied with certain things. Let your child know that they will get in trouble if they don't do as you say. Also, be sure to keep a close eye on them so you can watch for any signs that your child is getting in trouble or getting angry.
Finally, another key to learning how to avoid toxic parenting is to recognize your own behavior. Are you saying and doing things that irritate you? Do you get upset or impatient with your spouse or child? These are all signs of problems that you need to address. You might start by taking a course on how to relax better so you can spend more quality time with your family.
Then, be sure to find ways to communicate your frustrations – so everyone knows how you feel and can work out their behavior issues.
In the same vein, learning how to avoid toxic parenting requires that you recognize when your child is out of line. When you think your child is out of line – step back, and look at what is going on. For example, if you are yelling at your child because they didn't do something you approve of, step back. If your child is disrespecting you or others in your home, stop it immediately. If you don't know how to do this – try to enlist help from someone who does - such as a parent, an older child, or a trusted friend.
This list of how to avoid toxic behaviors with your child might seem long. However, it's only a starting point. We all need to know how to deal with toxic people - parents included - so that we can all have our children succeed.
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Avoiding toxic parenting is not an easy undertaking. However, it's one that all parents must confront – even those who have adopted. You will be glad that you did when your child starts to show the warning signs of toxicity. Hopefully, this short article has given you some food for thought.