How to Get Back with Your Ex Boyfriend (10 Ways)

Reignite the spark. Your guide to winning back your ex.
Last Updated
May 19, 2024
Editorial Staff
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It’s every woman’s dream – to find the ideal man and live happily ever after. Most of us place great hopes on men to enjoy a good relationship. But unfortunately, when our relationships start going wrong, it is probably the worst time of our life, and it can impact our emotions for a long time.

So, it is natural for most of us to want our ex back for good after a period of time of the breakup.

So… how to efficiently get your ex back? Unfortunately, you two have recently just separated, and you are afraid that your ex is still feeling hurt. Like most people, your greatest desire right now is to win back your partner.

You have to put a strategy to get back with your ex in place. Remember that without a good plan will just ruin everything.

In this article, you’ll learn the best way to do this, and we’ll also give you lots of helpful tips and answers to essential questions.

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How to Win Back Your Ex as A Couple?

First of all, think it is possible, and you can do it even if you have to admit that the situation is less easy for you. The second thing to consider is if your ex has a new partner, you will need to be even more patient.

He has left you, and he, too, has experienced an upheaval in his life, stress, and conflicts. He wants to leave this part of his life behind him, especially since he is now in a relationship and must feel in love and peace.

It might just be a rebound relationship, but whatever it is, you have to wait for this idyllic phase to pass. Allow a period of three to six months to give, and use that time to work on yourself.

When your ex’s honeymoon period is over, they’ll see you all to your advantage with your changes. You can then actually start the reconquest phase.

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What to do to get your ex back?

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We just said that it is not recommended to get back together without a good strategy. So the first thing to do is to let some time pass after the breakup to see if you want to recoup together.

If so, you can hope to achieve your goal by following some rules that have been proven to work. This strategy will need to be followed step by step if you have any chance of regaining the lost love.

Note that you will need to demonstrate self-discipline, initiative, and patience. It is, therefore, advisable to avoid any form of precipitation.

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Make sure you really want him back

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The first thing to do is to ask yourself the right questions. Then, it would be best if you took the time to think things over by letting a few days or weeks pass.

Because right after the separation, the feelings mix: sadness, anger, hatred, and frustration, and it will be difficult for you to see clearly.

But past the time of the mood swings between hope and despair, alone with yourself, you will know if you really want to win your ex back.

So ask yourself THIS question:

The breakup is also very important to check if you really want to find your ex. However, some situations and problems indicate that it is better not to try to resume the relationship:

  • Physical and moral violence
  • Toxic relationship
  • Infidelity (especially repeated)
  • Lack of love

Besides, if your ex is still the love of your life in your eyes, you can take the second step.

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Meet your ex to solve the problem

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If you’ve concluded that your ex is your soul mate and you’re not emotionally addicted, you can start thinking about how to meet him. Above all, do not force the reunion at all costs, but organize a meeting where you will present yourself calmly and serenely.

Explain to your ex that not everything has gone as well as you hoped, that you have thought a lot since your separation, and that you wish you could discuss it with him.

If he agrees, you can tell him when you meet him. Tell your ex, “Would you like to give our relationship a second chance.” Again, he may agree, and the reconquest will be facilitated in this case.

A coach or a couples therapist can also accompany you if the desired changes are not easy to achieve.

Many psychiatrists have explained that: “the fragility of couples, which too frequently results in premature breakups, is paradoxically linked to the idea that love is eternal, that it is a definitive achievement of the couple.”

This discussion can therefore be an opportunity to take stock. The psychiatrist continues: “Since the separation, the time has passed, and partners have changed. Therefore, we must consider this development and establish a current relationship.  And identify the wrong reasons that could push a couple to get back together.”

After having wondered about your own functioning, you may consider the possibility of resuming life together in the same direction.

Unfortunately, it is not always so obvious. If your ex does not accept the discussion, you will have to respect his desire to keep his distance. You will then need to be patient.

But don’t be discouraged; our strategy has many more steps.

Read more: Effective Ways to Keep Your Man in Love With You Throughout the Relationship

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Practice the no-contact

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This is where the no-contact approach comes into play. It is a highly effective method to get your ex back.

There are two ways to cut off contact with your ex:

  • the absolute no contact,
  • slow contact.

We recommend complete no contact, which is more straightforward, even if it is sometimes impossible to maintain when the couple has children together. In passing, let us recall that refusing to communicate specific information to a parent about children constitutes a violation of the law.

The problem that often arises with slow contact is that you don’t know exactly where to put the limits. With this toned-down shape, they are pretty vague. This technique requires you to be thoughtful and posed. It’s about taking your time before sending a message or responding. But, whatever your ability to discipline yourself, even the most consistent person is confused at some point. Therefore, slow contact is more of a temporary separation and less suited to winning your ex.

We, therefore, recommend no contact for a period of 21 days. In complex situations, it can last longer.

As the name suggests, zero contact is a method that uses the absence of communication to win back your ex when everything seems lost.

This means that you should never try to reach your ex in person, by phone, or message.

The no contact is not only used to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-wife back. It also helps you become aware of your feelings and move away from this sensitive subject: “What to do to win back your ex?”

It requires a good dose of self-discipline on your part, as this no-contact method is challenging to maintain, especially at the beginning. But rest assured, you only suffer at the beginning, and one day you will be able to keep this distance. Also, get hold of the idea that this method actually increases the likelihood of getting your ex back eventually.

Of course, the many connection possibilities we know with digital don’t make things any easier. That’s why we’ve put together several tips that will help you stay the course.

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Delete your ex from your phone book, messages, and social media connection

Doing so will help you better resist the temptation to text him in a moment of depression. Because when his number is saved, you will most likely call or write a message to your ex.

You’re going to tell me that you know his number off by heart anyway. But if the contact is deleted, it will take a little longer for you to call or message on WhatsApp. In any case, enough to realize that you are breaking the rule. Do you see the difference?

Haven’t you also already been tempted to see if your ex is online? Is this happen several times during the day? Or maybe you visited his Facebook profile to check out his latest posts? Unfortunately, not only does it not bring you anything, but it also makes you suffer. It is, therefore, preferable to stay away from social networks like Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram during this period of time.

Therefore, removing your ex from all your contacts is the bulwark against impulsive decisions to break the silence period.

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Avoid places where you might meet your ex in the real world

You know his habits, work schedules, the days and times he goes to the gym, etc. Make sure you don’t get in his way at this time.

The same goes for cafes where you are used to having a drink with your mutual friends. If you explain the situation to them, they will understand why you are doing this and will not blame you for taking a temporary distance.

It will also force you to change your lifestyle and lead you to meet new people for your greater good. Discover a new sport, start playing a musical instrument, join an association, etc. The freedom to be single also has its advantages!

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Reconnect with your ex

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If your ex has been trying to reach you in the form of phone calls or messages during the no-contact, now you can try to get back in touch with him in good conscience.

Even if he hasn’t contacted you during the silence period time, now is the time to try and reconnect with the couple.

Many of you are asking yourself this question: “Does he miss me?” Realize that this doesn’t matter in your strategy at the moment.

On the other hand, it is not excluded that your ex still does not want to have a constructive discussion with you. Above all, do not insist and stop there. This must be your last attempt at contact, or you may sound like you’re harassing him.

But don’t worry; our strategy is well thought out, and you will take the next step.

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Show that you are independent

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After the last few failed attempts at contact, now is the time to show your ex that you can live very well without them.

Don’t hide; instead, do your best to let him know you have a rich and exciting life, but act subtly all the same.

For example, go on vacation for a few days, treat yourself to a day of relaxation, and post photos of your getaway on social media. It can also be a new professional challenge. This will allow your ex to learn about your new life.

Of course, you don’t have to overdo it or tell all the details of your life, but posting some great photos or sharing some insightful thoughts can make you interesting in the eyes of your ex again.

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Cultivate your well-being

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If you no longer had the time to take care of yourself during the last months of your life together or even the desire to do so, you must now take care of the most important relationship of your life: the relationship with yourself!

You can surprise your ex by changing your look. Buy new clothes, go to the hairdresser and dare a new cut or a shimmering color. Show through your unique style that you are no longer depressed.

Besides, let your creativity express itself and find yourself a hobby. Think about what skills you would like to learn or develop. Many associations offer activities for adults, even beginners in their field. The Internet is also full of online courses that you can take whenever you want if your schedule doesn’t quickly free you during the day or early evening.

Sport is also a great way to feel good. It promotes the secretion of endorphins, well-being molecules released by the brain, for several hours after exercise. By feeling good about your head and your body, you will naturally gain confidence, thereby boosting your confidence and self-esteem. Maybe you already had flaws there? Now is the right time to fix it.

Self-confidence is essential in getting your ex back because you can’t seduce your ex if you portray need, insecurity, grief, or self-pity.

Finally, eat a healthy and balanced diet. Changing to a good diet will also positively affect your physical and emotional condition. When you feel good inside, you shine on the outside.

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Meet your ex “by chance”

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You just found out that your ex is attending a party. Arrange to be there also with your colleagues or friends. You must have a good reason for being there too, apart from the fact that you will see your ex again.

Take advantage of this party to have fun and greet your ex politely. Don’t expect to have an intimate conversation with him. Even if he wants to talk to you, stay in control by ending your conversation to continue enjoying your friends. You will thus arouse his curiosity, even a little his jealousy, and will desire you.

This attitude is essential in your strategy. No one knows when you will finally win your ex back or even if it is possible. Nonetheless, if you apply these tips and combine them with independence, your chances of winning your ex back are very high—still a little patience. You will have to renew the meetings several times before gaining the confidence of your ex and arousing his desire to find you. You have to put in place a good technique of seduction.

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Can you get your ex back after several months or years of separation?

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As the Danish saying goes: “Old love never gets rusty.”

Even after three months, six months, or two years of separation, you can still hope to find love with your ex again. But, of course, your ex has reorganized their life during this long time, and you will probably need to be even more active in your strategy than if you had just gone their separate ways.

The best thing to do is meet him like it’s the first time. You need to bring out the new positive sides of your personality, just like the character traits that your ex valued so much.

According to experts, late reunions say more about the personal way of conceiving oneself than about the very nature of love. “The way we construct self-identity in the West is made up of two different dynamics, which coexist within ourselves: on the one hand, as we grow up, we need to have proof that we remain ourselves, faithful to what we have always been. But, on the other hand, we change; we make ourselves on the road, transformed at each age by experience logic. In other words, when a couple tries to get back together, it is a way of proving to themselves that there is a “permanence of oneself.”

And if you can’t get your ex back, don’t regret it. Indeed, you will be sad, but you can also be proud of who you have become – a better version of yourself.

And it is, in my opinion, the best gift that you have given yourself.

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Brief summary of the essential tips to win back your ex

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It would help if you recognized that getting your ex back won’t be a snap.

It will not go so quickly, just as the breakup took a long time (except for an exceptional event).

But as long as you show respect for your ex and don’t make him feel like you’re trying to get him back at all costs, you have good reason to hope that he will come back.

Stay strong and remember that while it may seem urgent to you to get your ex back or lose him forever, it just isn’t true. The situation is not as desperate as you might imagine. However, it is essential that you do things in order, little by little, and that you never forget that the future is wide open.

  • Stay dignified, and don’t run after your ex
  • Overcome your heartache
  • Do some work on yourself and regain confidence
  • Take care of yourself to be attractive
  • Analyze the reasons for the breakup
  • Find solutions to the problems that led to the separation
  • Slowly build a strategy to win back

The wheel is turning, don’t worry. Good luck.

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